A woman went to her priest with a problem. “Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible!” exclaimed the priest. “But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?”
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed “Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!”
1. …have absolutely no idea where their purse is.
2. …believe that dancing with their arms overhead and wiggling their butt while yelling “woo-hoo!” is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. …’ve suddenly decided that they want to kick someone’s butt and honestly believe they could do it to o.
4. …In their last trip to pee, they realize that they now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess they were just four hours ago
5. …start crying and telling everyone they see that they love them sooooo much.
6. … get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because “oh my god! I love this song!”
7. …’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to them.
8. …’ve suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
9. …yell at the bartender, who they believe cheated them by giving them just lemonade, but that’s just because they can no longer taste the vodka.
10. …think they are in bed, but their pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)
11. …fail to notice that the toilet lid’s down when they sit on it.
12. …take their shoes off because they believe it’s their fault that they’re having problems walking straight.
What would you do if a porn star stole your name? Kristen Syvette Wimberly, 25, is suing her former Texas high school pal turned porn star for doing exactly that!
Lara Madden, 25, uses the stage name Syvette Wimberly when starring in films like “Anal Camera 19″ and the real Wimberly doesn’t like it! Wimberly has filed a lawsuit against Madden and the distributors of her movies, (Vivid Entertainment), for misappropriation of her name.
Madden and Wimberly met in ninth grade in Kingwood, Texas. Their friendship ‘ended due to conflict’ and the two did not graduate together, (Madden got married while in high school). Wimberly had not heard of Madden until she discovered that there was a woman appearing in multiple explicit adult videos using her name. Madden has reportedly boasted that her stage name was that of a former high school friend.
I don’t know about you but I think the ladies should resolve this issue with a ‘topless jello tub fight’. The winner get’s to keep the name.
What is the fastest way for a celebrity to extend their two minutes of fame? GET NAKED a.k.a. wardrobe malfunctions. A wardrobe malfunctions is the latest way to make a big show even bigger show. Are these malfunctions an ingenious plan to gain publicity or an honest mistake?? Since we are all voyeurs at heart, I’d like think it’s the latter however I’ll let you be the judge:
1. Janet Jackson with Justin Timberlake
The whole world saw Janet Jackson’s right breast when Justin Timberlake ripped off part of her outfit revealing her breast complete with star shaped nipple ornament during the half time performance at Super Bowl. I don’t know who was surprised more, Janet or Justin. All I know is that it was the most memorable half time show I’ve seen!
Want to see the entire Super Bowl Half Time extravaganza?
2. Jennifer Hawkins
Miss Universe 2004, Jennifer Hawkins gave the cameras a treat during the Sydney Fashion Show when her heavy Bora dress skirt slipped to the floor while she was walking the runway. Ms. Hawkins trotted off backstage hiding her not so covered bottom with her hands.
3. Tara Reid
The American Pie star boldly bared her surgically enhanced breast at P. Diddy’s 35th birthday party to the waiting flashbulbs for a full 15 seconds. Could she have been thinking ‘I’ve paid a bomb for these puppies, may as well show them off!’.
4. Sophie Marceau
Sophie Marceau just giggled when her loose-fitting green and black dress fell off one of her shoulders revealing her breast at the Cannes Film Festival’s red carpet. And of course the waiting paparazzi giggled all the way to the press!
5. Toni Braxton
The wind got a hold of Toni Braxton’s skirt and gave the soccer fans a little show when she performed with the group Il Divo at the official opening of Adidas World of Football. Fans were noted as saying, ‘Forget about the match, let’s see more of Toni’s beautiful behind’. Go for it Toni!
6. Scarlett Johansson
Her little black dress gave onlookers a sneak preview of the goods the blonde bombshell Scarlett Johansson has to offer. The icing on the cake was that she was not even wearing a bra. Apparently, this is not the only time. Johansson previously had a zipper ‘malfunction’ at the 2005 Golden Globe awards. Do people never learn?
7. Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton has to be the most entertaining individual in the world, (probably why we have a lot of celeb gossip on her). Hilton not wanting to disappoint on this occasion, ‘accidentally’ pulled down her own bathing top while filming a music video for her song Stars are Blind. Good thing the cameras weren’t blind or else we would have missed this shot!
8. Yumiko Cheng Hei-Yi
Truly a case of wardrobe misfortune. This popular Hong Kong singer and actor accidentally lost her pants during an acrobatics show during Tung Wah Charity Show. Yumiko Cheng was quite appalled by her predicament and burst into tears once she was backstage. Yumiko, there’s nothing to cry about baby!
**notice the group of Asian men who can’t seem to get enough??**
9. Britney Spears
Britney Spears must keep up with the Jones’! The bald Mama left people breathless when she flashed her ‘VJ’ to the world while out on the town with Paris Hilton. Maybe K-Fed had custody of the underwear drawer that week.
10. Queen Nicola T
Nipple Queen Nicola T shuns bras whether at a movie premiere or while posing for calendar shots. And then she wears a ‘dress’ which does full justice to her bare boobs…Me thinks, it would have been easier to just go nude.
That’s enough for part 1 of our ‘revealing’ wardrobe malfunction series. Stay tuned for more!